Consultation and Counseling
“Consultation is…available for the individual in solving his own problems; he may consult with his Assembly, with his family and with his friends.” (“Understanding Tests” letter on behalf of the Universal House of Justice, July 17, 1989)
“Neither you nor your husband should hesitate to continue consulting professional marriage counselors, individually and together if possible, and also to take advantage of the supportive counseling which can come from wise and mature friends. Non-Bahá’í counseling can be useful but it is usually necessary to temper it with Bahá’í insight.” (On behalf of the Universal House of Justice: The Compilation of Compilations, Vol. II, “Preserving Bahá’í Marriages”, p. 455)
Understanding Tests (Downloadable pdf file from the Bahá’í World Centre Research Department)
There is guidance for troubled marriages available to you through your local Spiritual Assembly and through books such as: Lights of Guidance.
For Couples to Give to a Marriage Counselor Who Is Not a Bahá’í (Downloadable pdf file)
U.S. National Registry of Marriage-Friendly Therapists
Counselors Who Are Bahá’ís: Marriage Transformation maintains
a database of counselors, therapists, social workers, coaches, and more for referral and collaborating purposes. If you wish a referral or are willing to be included or need to provide updated information about you or your credentials, please email Susanne M. Alexander at susanne@marriagetransformation.com.
Serious Marriage Problems
Information and resources on handling domestic violence and abuse issues can be found at:
US: www.bahai.us/domestic-violence
UK: www.bahai.org.uk/policies/index.htm
Preventing and Responding to Infidelity (includes some information on sexual addiction) (Revised September 5, 2011)
Useful Websites
Reconciliation, Separation, and Divorce
"...[D]ivorce...is very strongly condemned by Bahá'u'lláh, and only grounds of extreme gravity justify it." (On behalf of Shoghi Effendi to an individual believer, Lights of Guidance, #1311)
"He was very sorry to hear that you are contemplating separation from your husband. As you no doubt know, Bahá'u'lláh considers the marriage bond very sacred; and only under very exceptional and unbearable circumstances is divorce advisable for Bahá'ís.
The Guardian does not tell you that you must not divorce your husband; but he does urge you to consider prayerfully, not only because you are a believer and anxious to obey the Laws of God, but also for the sake of the happiness of your children, whether it is not possible for you to rise above the limitations you have felt in your marriage hitherto, and make a go of it together.
"We often feel that our happiness lies in a certain direction; and yet, if we have to pay too heavy a price for it in the end we may discover that we have not really purchased either freedom or happiness, but must some new situation of frustration and disillusion." (On behalf of Shoghi Effendi to an individual believer, Lights of Guidance, #1310)
“When an application for divorce is made to a Spiritual Assembly its first thought and action should be to reconcile the couple and to ensure that they know the Bahá’í teachings on the matter. God willing, the Assembly will be successful and no year of waiting need be started. However, if the Assembly finds that it is unable to persuade the party concerned to withdraw the application for divorce, it must conclude that, from its point of view, there appears to be an irreconcilable antipathy, and it has no alternative to setting the date for the beginning of the year of waiting. During the year the couple have the responsibility of attempting to reconcile their difference, and the Assembly has the duty to help them and encourage them. But if the year of waiting comes to an end without reconciliation the Bahá’í divorce must be granted as at the date of the granting of the civil divorce if this has not already taken place.” (On behalf of the Universal House of Justice, Lights of Guidance, #1304)
“Should resentment or antipathy arise between husband and wife, he [or she] is not to divorce her [or him] but to bide in patience throughout the course of one whole year, that perchance the fragrance of affection may be renewed between them. If, upon the completion of this period, their love hath not returned, it is permissible for divorce to take place.” (Bahá’u'lláh, Kitáb-i-Aqdas, #68)
"Wherever there is a Bahá'í family, those concerned should by all means do all they can to preserve it, because divorce is strongly condemned in the Teachings whereas harmony, unity and love are held up as the highest ideals in human relationships." (On behalf of Shoghi Effendi, Lights of Guidance, #1313)
Creating a Separation and Reconciliation Agreement
Divorce Resistance Information (an individual initiative by a Bahá'í)
